24 Hours

So much changes in 24 hours.

• I decided I should go see a lactation consultant before my appointment Thursday. I'm increasingly concerned about my supply so it seemed silly to wait until the end of the week.
• I met with one of the LCs at our pediatrician's office this morning. She was very helpful and made me feel a lot better.
• I'm now taking fenugreek and blessed thistle to help increase my production. I'm also going to nurse Baby J as often as I can and get lots of snuggle time in.
• At work I'm going to pump as often as I can. I need to find a way to pump twice during the lunch shift. I'm already pumping twice during dinner.
• I'm back to only feeding her on one side to make sure she's getting hind milk.
• After I feed her in the morning one side, I'm going to pump on the other and then wait an hour and pump on both sides.
  
• I'm going to do my best to not stress about how much I get when I pump. I think the stress is only making things worse. I have a stock of milk in the freezer and I need to use it if need be.
  
• Baby J and I will be okay. I just needed to get some advice and a little perspective.
  

In Which I Continue to be Totally Unsure of Myself

Baby J had an appointment on Friday for a little check-up. Apparently, little girls and old women can get dry um, down there, and need some cream to make sure things are sticking together. I'd never heard of it, but we'd been diligently putting cream on Baby J's girly bits for three weeks and we needed to make sure everything was fine. Well, her girly bits are fine.

But she lost half a pound in the three weeks since her four month check up.

If you remember, we talked about lots of sleep issues at her last appointment. One of the other things she said was to try to go longer between feedings during the day. That happened pretty naturally on its own. We have been going three to four hours between feedings. And although I was becoming convinced Baby J is just really efficient and doesn't need to nurse all that long, I now think we might have a problem. The pediatrician seemed pretty concerned about the weight loss. She went from the 65th percentile to the 26th.

So these are the solutions we came up with. I should feed her on both sides at each feeding and try to get her to eat longer. When she's getting a bottle because I'm working, it should be four ounces. And I'm going back in on Thursday to weigh Baby J again and see the Nurse Practitioner/Lactation Consultant to make sure everything looks okay.

Hubby was away this weekend for a friend's bachelor party and I had to work both Friday night and Saturday night. We are lucky to have my sister and good friends around to help out (and for free!). My friend J watched her last night and she ate two four ounce bottles within an hour of each other! I had a hard time getting her to eat both at 1pm and at 3pm before I left for work. She just seemed totally uninterested and cried rather loudly instead of eating. I'm glad she had those two bottles because I was concerned she didn't get enough to eat during the day, but it really confuses me. Is she just done with my actual breasts? I don't really think so because she does still eat especially at night and in the morning and even a little during the day. Should I just pump and feed her four ounce bottles so I know she is getting enough...whatever enough is? I'm thoroughly confused and unsure of myself. And totally freaked out because I only pumped one four ounce bottle at work last night and am scared she's going to go through a ton of milk while I'm working two doubles this week. I read oatmeal helps with milk production so I had a big bowl for breakfast yesterday and today. I'm also thinking of getting some fenugreek capsules to take to help with the milk production especially for pumping purposes. I'm just scared the production will go crazy and I'll end up with mastitis. I just feel at a loss and don't really know who to call because I'm sure everyone will tell me something different.

So It Begins

Baby J started day care today. It was a "transition" day but really it was as long as she'll be there tomorrow too. I really like her teacher. She's pregnant and has moved over from the preschool room to head up the new infant room. And for a few weeks her teacher only has Baby J and another baby. She's helping with all the other babies too, but when we were there her focus seemed to be on those two which is nice. Baby J took two naps, although they weren't very long, ate twice, had her clothes changed (thank you drool) and got a few clean diapers. I think after today I'm feeling much better about things. She didn't cry when we left (Hubby had today off so he went with me, thank god. I don't think I would've taken her in today otherwise...) and she was happy when we got back. She was asleep in her carseat before we were five minutes from the daycare. It's going to be okay, I think. But we should see how I am after leaving her tomorrow.

Right now I'm most concerned about my milk production. First of all I'm confused about how much she should be eating. She's now going 3-4 hours between feedings instead of eating every two. (Actually, it's a relief to leave the house and know I don't have to figure out where to feed her in a couple hours.) Although she's eating less often, her nursing sessions have shortened too. She might nurse for five-ten minutes. Ten if I'm lucky. When I pump I'm lucky to get three ounces from one breast. This morning I pumped when Baby J would have normally eaten and I only got two ounces and that was pumping on both sides! Everything I've read says pumping is not a good indication of production, but when you need to produce milk to feed your baby while you're working and can't pump enough then what? I'm going to have to get creative about when I pump now. Especially when I start working doubles on Tuesdays and Wednesdays next week. I don't know if she's okay only getting 3 ounces every 3-4 hours while I'm working or if it should be 4 ounces. Does anyone out there know? I'm been looking online but have a hard time finding how much she should be eating. Ugh.

All Rolled Over!

Baby J has mastered rolling over. Here's how I found her in her crib one hot day last week.

Hi Mommy.

My rolls have rolls.

What?

So...with lots of links!

• So, my lovely mother ordered me this.
• And thanks to Ianqui's suggestion, I bought these to try. (I bought two boxes and if I don't like them I may send one your way!)
• I also signed up with Seadragon to do The Couch to 5k Running Plan. I'm supposed to start this week. But it's Wednesday and I haven't done a workout yet. I'm not working tomorrow so I'll do one then, but I'm working a double on Friday and the night shift on Saturday. Must get motivated!! I'll try to get up early on Friday.
• Try to get up early is the key word (phrase?). We're still trying to have Hubby get up with Baby J at night. I guess it's going better. She's not eating every two hours during the day anymore and she's really just been waking up at 3am-ish. I've been feeding her around 11pm and I guess we'd like her to go till 5 or 6 without eating. Hubby has the tendency to want to change something immediately when it doesn't work but I think we need to give things more time.
• In addition to trying to be more patient with the sleep thing we are working on being more patient with each other. We were not very nice to each other last night.
• Work is good. I like the restaurant and the staff is great. It's a bit tiring, but in a good way. I'm working my first double on Friday so we'll see how it goes.
• Baby J is currently trying out her Johnny Jump Up. She doesn't quite get it yet, but she seems to like hanging around in it.
• And last but not least, Hubby's cousin had a baby today! Yay! I sent her a post partum recovery kit with breast pads, maxi pads, Tylenol and motrin, lansinoh, and some other baby goodies. I know I will send her another package because I forgot to send her a onsie I have for her. I have some peppermint foot cream for her too, but I'd like to send her husband something too. Any ideas for something nice and inexpensive for a new daddy?
  

Also

Also, Baby J has become an expert roller. She also can scoot around on her tummy a little bit which leads to limbs sticking out of the crib when she wakes up from her naps. I keep thinking I should buy a crib bumper for her, but 1. I know they are supposed to be a hazard and 2. I know that when she can stand I'll need to take it out so she can't stand on it and get out of the crib. So to crib bumper or not? Opinions, please.

And I want to get a nursing cover up. I'd like to be able to nurse somewhere else other than my car, but I have a hard time getting situated with the blanket and the baby, etc. The bebe au lait ones are just too expensive. They have some on Etsy and on Ebay. But I can't decide which fabric I like. I'd prefer something simple and plain, but now I find myself totally indecisive. I like these and this one. I also emailed someone on Etsy to see if I can get one more plain like light yellow eyelet fabric...please help!

Lastly, has anyone used reusable nursing pads? Or maybe I don't need nursing pads anymore? I'm scared to stop wearing them for fear of leaking everywhere, but that should be under control by now, right? And the ones I'm using seem to soak up a little milk, but not much...

Thanks for you comments on my last post. I'm so conflicted. I want to keep Baby J close but I also desperately want us all to sleep. Last night sucked. I slept next to Baby J instead of Hubby and ended up feeding her at 3ish and 5ish. Sigh...we'll figure something out I'm sure.

Ugh

Baby J had her four month check-up on Friday. She's doing fine weighing in at 14lbs 3oz and 25 1/2 in long. She's gained 6lbs and 5 inches since birth. One of the biggest things we talked about during her appointment was the problems we've been having with sleep. Dr. P was surprised to hear Baby J stopped sleeping through the nigh since at her two month check up things were going fine. She basically said that now Baby J has learned that when she wakes up at night and cries I'll feed her. Nutritionally, she doesn't need to eat that much so she suggested Hubby, who was also at the appointment, tend to her during her night time wakings and only if she is really crying and won't go back to sleep should I feed her. She also said if we can get Baby J to take better naps that will help with the sleeping at night and maybe we should make her room darker for nap time. Hubby has been saying we should make her room darker for awhile and we've been working on the naps. The last thing she said was that maybe we should move Baby J into her own room. All of this was very hard on me. Have I really been doing so much wrong? And how the hell are people supposed to figure this stuff out?

I'm supposed to provide for Baby J. I take care of her nearly all day every day. I should know what she needs and how to take care of her. Of course I want to do what's best for her, but I'm really sad about these changes we have to make now. And I also feel like I've failed all of us a bit. We haven't been getting sleep for over a month now and all we needed to do was switch sides of the bed and let Hubby take care of her? And it does seem to be working, at least for the last two nights.

I just don't know how to reconcile how I'm feeling. I feel like I've failed somehow, but at the same time I feel like how am I supposed to know any better? I've been reading online and in the books I have and haven't found anything all that helpful. I want to be happy that maybe we're on the right track to getting some sleep but I wish I could've figured it out. And I wish Baby J was still sleeping on my side of the bed.