Denial

• Baby J turns one on Monday.
  
• Even while I am busily planning her birthday party for Saturday I am in total denial about this fact.
• Where the hell did the last year go? It's been wonderful, terrifying, and love-filled. Quitting my 9-5 job and doing something part time was absolutely the right decision for me.
  
• On Monday we also have a check up with the geneticist. I am in denial about this too.
• I continue to do very little reading or research about tuberous sclerosis (TSC). I guess I just don't want to know until I need to...I don't want to constantly be looking at my daughter wondering if she's sick.
• Because she's not sick. She's wonderful and perfect and I couldn't imagine her any other way.
• I didn't know having a baby would be like this. Yes, it's exhausting and all-consuming, but we have so much fun.
  
• I might be in denial about the big first birthday but I am having the time of my life.