All Rolled Over!

Baby J has mastered rolling over. Here's how I found her in her crib one hot day last week.

Hi Mommy.

My rolls have rolls.

What?

So...with lots of links!

• So, my lovely mother ordered me this.
• And thanks to Ianqui's suggestion, I bought these to try. (I bought two boxes and if I don't like them I may send one your way!)
• I also signed up with Seadragon to do The Couch to 5k Running Plan. I'm supposed to start this week. But it's Wednesday and I haven't done a workout yet. I'm not working tomorrow so I'll do one then, but I'm working a double on Friday and the night shift on Saturday. Must get motivated!! I'll try to get up early on Friday.
• Try to get up early is the key word (phrase?). We're still trying to have Hubby get up with Baby J at night. I guess it's going better. She's not eating every two hours during the day anymore and she's really just been waking up at 3am-ish. I've been feeding her around 11pm and I guess we'd like her to go till 5 or 6 without eating. Hubby has the tendency to want to change something immediately when it doesn't work but I think we need to give things more time.
• In addition to trying to be more patient with the sleep thing we are working on being more patient with each other. We were not very nice to each other last night.
• Work is good. I like the restaurant and the staff is great. It's a bit tiring, but in a good way. I'm working my first double on Friday so we'll see how it goes.
• Baby J is currently trying out her Johnny Jump Up. She doesn't quite get it yet, but she seems to like hanging around in it.
• And last but not least, Hubby's cousin had a baby today! Yay! I sent her a post partum recovery kit with breast pads, maxi pads, Tylenol and motrin, lansinoh, and some other baby goodies. I know I will send her another package because I forgot to send her a onsie I have for her. I have some peppermint foot cream for her too, but I'd like to send her husband something too. Any ideas for something nice and inexpensive for a new daddy?
  

Also

Also, Baby J has become an expert roller. She also can scoot around on her tummy a little bit which leads to limbs sticking out of the crib when she wakes up from her naps. I keep thinking I should buy a crib bumper for her, but 1. I know they are supposed to be a hazard and 2. I know that when she can stand I'll need to take it out so she can't stand on it and get out of the crib. So to crib bumper or not? Opinions, please.

And I want to get a nursing cover up. I'd like to be able to nurse somewhere else other than my car, but I have a hard time getting situated with the blanket and the baby, etc. The bebe au lait ones are just too expensive. They have some on Etsy and on Ebay. But I can't decide which fabric I like. I'd prefer something simple and plain, but now I find myself totally indecisive. I like these and this one. I also emailed someone on Etsy to see if I can get one more plain like light yellow eyelet fabric...please help!

Lastly, has anyone used reusable nursing pads? Or maybe I don't need nursing pads anymore? I'm scared to stop wearing them for fear of leaking everywhere, but that should be under control by now, right? And the ones I'm using seem to soak up a little milk, but not much...

Thanks for you comments on my last post. I'm so conflicted. I want to keep Baby J close but I also desperately want us all to sleep. Last night sucked. I slept next to Baby J instead of Hubby and ended up feeding her at 3ish and 5ish. Sigh...we'll figure something out I'm sure.

Ugh

Baby J had her four month check-up on Friday. She's doing fine weighing in at 14lbs 3oz and 25 1/2 in long. She's gained 6lbs and 5 inches since birth. One of the biggest things we talked about during her appointment was the problems we've been having with sleep. Dr. P was surprised to hear Baby J stopped sleeping through the nigh since at her two month check up things were going fine. She basically said that now Baby J has learned that when she wakes up at night and cries I'll feed her. Nutritionally, she doesn't need to eat that much so she suggested Hubby, who was also at the appointment, tend to her during her night time wakings and only if she is really crying and won't go back to sleep should I feed her. She also said if we can get Baby J to take better naps that will help with the sleeping at night and maybe we should make her room darker for nap time. Hubby has been saying we should make her room darker for awhile and we've been working on the naps. The last thing she said was that maybe we should move Baby J into her own room. All of this was very hard on me. Have I really been doing so much wrong? And how the hell are people supposed to figure this stuff out?

I'm supposed to provide for Baby J. I take care of her nearly all day every day. I should know what she needs and how to take care of her. Of course I want to do what's best for her, but I'm really sad about these changes we have to make now. And I also feel like I've failed all of us a bit. We haven't been getting sleep for over a month now and all we needed to do was switch sides of the bed and let Hubby take care of her? And it does seem to be working, at least for the last two nights.

I just don't know how to reconcile how I'm feeling. I feel like I've failed somehow, but at the same time I feel like how am I supposed to know any better? I've been reading online and in the books I have and haven't found anything all that helpful. I want to be happy that maybe we're on the right track to getting some sleep but I wish I could've figured it out. And I wish Baby J was still sleeping on my side of the bed.

Bullets of Crap, Anxiety edition

• I don't even know where to start.
  
• I was offered a job to pick up some managing shifts at a restaurant.
• It's a very yummy restaurant and the woman who owns it is totally willing to be flexible with me.
• A couple Sundays ago, I went in for dinner and basically an interview. On my way home I saw a sign for a daycare that had openings. Hubby called them the next day and they are opening a new infant room. They are willing to take infants part time too. It all feels pretty serendipitous.
  
• Yesterday we went to visit the daycare. If I'm honest with myself, the place was really nice. It had a lot of what we want. They start sign language with the babies. They are totally breastfeeding friendly. They are willing to use our cloth diapers. I'm more than welcome to come by during the day if I want to. But it's still putting Baby J in daycare. Really I am just freaked out that she won't get held or attention or something. I know that won't happen. We sat in the infant room for awhile yesterday and while some babies cried, it was only while they got their bottles ready or something. I feel like I just need to get over it. I need to just get over it.
• We put a deposit down before we left.
  
• I'm about to call the general manager/owner of the restaurant and accept the position. I'm not very good at negotiating pay, but I did and after my training they are going to pay me what I want.
  
• And I'll be working a double on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and the lunch shift on Saturdays. Only two days of daycare and Hubby will be with Baby J on Saturday.
  
• I'm nervous, but I need a paycheck and it will be good to get out of the house some.
  
• Today Baby J is four months old! FOUR MONTHS!
• And she rolled over totally from back to tummy last night!
• She didn't sleep through the night but we got one four hour chunk from 9:45-1:45. And Hubby and I were smart enough to go to bed at 9:45 after I fed her. Then she was up at 3:45 and 5:45 and 7ish. Hubby took her at 7ish while he got ready so I could get a bit more sleep. He's a godsend. I don't know what I'd do without that extra hour of sleep.
• She'll be fine in daycare. Right?
  

Will it ever end?

Three weeks ago, I remember telling someone "Oh yes, Baby J sleeps through the night. We are very lucky. (knocks on wood) We do keep thinking it's going to change but so far so good." The next night it changed and for three weeks now Baby J has been up every two hours to eat. Every.two.hours. I'm exhausted.

When it first started we thought, okay we're in Maine on vacation. She's just not used to being in a different place. Or maybe she's going through a growth spurt (she has grown a lot in the last three weeks). But it hasn't changed. We've tried to give her better naps during the day. I still feed her every two hours during the day for the most part. Hubby and I really want to believe that there is something we can do to help Baby J through the night. We are desperate to believe we can change things. I know we can't, but it sucks to be helpless. Everything I've read about sleep regressions, developmental changes, and growth spurts says this is normal but oh my god is there an end in sight? I need more than a two hour stretch of sleep and I worry about Hubby having to go to work with such a disjointed night's sleep. And work? Let's not even talk about the fact that I may be starting a new job outside of the house soon....I can't imagine functioning in the real world like this. Last night we got in bed at 7:45pm. It doesn't matter, I still need to sleep for more than two hours at a time.

Tonight we are going to try to move Baby J out of the cosleeper and into the pack n play. We have the mini cosleeper and she's gotten a little too big for it, I think. We'll see if that helps at all. I think we are still going to put it next to the bed. We think, maybe she needs more room. Maybe she's waking herself up bumping into the side of the cosleeper. Sometimes she sleeps for three hours during the day in her crib...but that's downstairs and our room is upstairs and I'm certainly not ready for that move...

My New Favorite Picture

Baby J, 3 months and 9 days old